February 11, 2004
I came to a conclusion approximately five minutes ago. I was reviewing through my site and noticed that the rants
page was getting SO long... I mean, seriously... Who wants to scroll down, skim through all of the meaningless crap I've written
just to find out where they left off last? No one. So here's my new page. Enjoy. (To those of you bastards {you know who you
are} who are just skimming through my site for pictures... I'm watching you.)
ANYWAY! Because I've learned in the past that when I start doing something, I get all into it and then gradually
just kind of get sick of it and stop, I know that the best thing for me to do is to NOT tell you that I'm going to do this
every day. A rant a day is unecessary and my mind isn't capable of handling it. Well, I guess it could... considering this
is all just mindless jabbering composed into a webpage which is full of crap nobody cares about (with exception of a few pictures..
WHY is it ALWAYS about the PICTURES with you people?!) but I'd rather not. To be quite honest, I've gotten to the point where
I'm too damn lazy to open this thing day after day and write like there's no tomorrow. I'm just not interested. Period.
I've added a couple of pages to this site in the last couple of days. It's kind of weird for me, I think, because
I've sort of left this thing to just sort of freeze over. The only thing I've updated in the last... ohhhh, I'd say about
10 months, is my other rants page. I have to warn you though: If you open my "Signs of a hangover" page, (I can't remember
what I entitled it but it's something along those lines) be prepared to face a picture with two guys. One guy is puking all
over the other guy who looks like he just puked all over himself. It currently has the highest "gross" rating on
www.ratemyvomit.com and it happened to utterly disgust me... So I figured, "What better place to put this picture than on my website? People
only go on it to look at pictures so why not give them a taste of their own medicine." And that's my story. So there's some
guys vomitting all over every which place. You've been forwarned. And if you haven't, it means you're a lazy bastard who can't
read the fine print. I gave you the wings... you just chose to stay grounded. Not my problem!
And at that cue, it's now 3:53 in the morning.. Brian's going to be calling me in approximately 1 hour which meeaaaannnnsss
that right now is my one hour sleep time. Mmmm... sweet, sweet, one hour sleep a night. *Drools.* If only it were a good hour.
*Sigh.* I hope you enjoy your "hour" (however long it may be) and have a wonderful day full of happiness and joy.
STOP WASTING YOUR TIME LOOKING AT WEBSITES WITH PEOPLE VOMITING ALL OVER THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER! You make me
sick.... *As
www.ratemyvomit.com's ratings skyrocket...* The creators of that site must be sick bastards. For some reason I can see Terry Boake making a site
like that and it kind of disturbs me. Not in a good way. On that note...
Cheerio!
February 12, 2004
Oh dear...
I mean, really... Oh... Dear...
*Laughs* Hey there! Fancy meeting you here! Care for a cup of java? Sit down awhile. I'm in a terrifically splendid
mood right now. I don't really have any particular reasons for the happiness but if you download "Trashin' The Camp" by Phil
Collins (it's a Disney song, don't get offended yet), you'll have a small idea of how I'm feeling right now. If it doesn't
make you want to get up and do a jig, scratch that. Just imagine being bubbling with happiness and that's how I feel.
I have to say, Mike (Vancouver happy guy) amused me on several different occasions today. I'm writing this
just in case he happens to stumble across my website one day and finds the rants pages.
Frick, I hate to think how many people have access to this thing...
"I think it's time that you and I arranged a heart to heart..." <--- "Just can't wait to be King"
from the Lion King. ALSO making me very content right now.
I swear to the Peanut Butter Gods of Jupiter, if there's a Monopoly site testing job out there, I want it.
Sign me up! In fact, sign Bradley up too! But don't let me play against him. Ever. The kid's a crazed Monopoly fiend. I really
don't understand where he got his gift but when he meshes with the thimble, they work together as a team and everyone he plays
against becomes powerless to him. One day, Bradley, I'm gonna kick your arse. You won't even know what hitcha, big gunner. Yeah,
that's right.. *Gives her intimidating look of intimidation.*
Britney Spears bothers me so much. She's so hot and has quite the singing voice but she's SUCH an airhead. Does
she even know how to dial room service without asking her security guards for some assistance? My guess is probably
not. And Britney, if YOU ever happen to read this, yes. You're a good looking chick but you'll never measure up to Pink. Ever.
Hear me, biotch?! Oh yeah, that's right, I called you a biotch! Wanna make something of it?! That's what I thought... *Straightens
her tie and tips her hat.*
Anywhoza wuzza, due to the fact that it is now 6:21 in the morning, I'm going to go get in my morning hour of sleep.
Love that look on you! It's bedazzling!
February 16, 2004
Thinking about life, living, being, seeing, wanting, seeking... I came to a discovery. I am not meant to be in
one particular place. So I sit. I'm making resumes so I may take a break from this scholastic bullshit and face the "real
world". This isn't what I want. I've known from the very beginning I wanted to take a year off. I needed some time to just
break away from chaos. Instead I found myself stuck in more of it. This isn't what I need. I need a break. I need to take
some time for me and discover what I want to do with the rest of my life.
If my heart were interested in being dedicated to business for a profound amount of time, I would be infatuated
with my course. I wouldn't just be attending class on occasion, getting aggravated with the course load, having stress and
panic attacks and hating myself... I would be living for school rather than dreading it. College is supposed to be a place
you go to get an education in a field you're interested in...
My life is writing. My passion is writing. I live for my passion. Business is sucking up my creativity... So I
must rebuild.
"And maybe you should sleep, and maybe you just need a friend, as clumsy as you've been, there's no one laughing..."
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
It amazes me how much life changes in just a few moments.
If you're angry, close your eyes, take a deep breath and the world has changed.
If you're sad, play a happy song, close your eyes, and drift away... The world has changed.
If you can't tolerate life anymore, go outside, lie in the grass, go to the beach and feel the sand sink in between your
toes, climb a mountain, go for a run, see someone you love, change your environment... your world will change.
"In times like these, and times like those, what will be will be and so it goes and it always goes on and on
and on and on and on, on and on and on and on and on it goes, mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm hmm hmm, mmm-mmmm-mmmmmm, mmm-mmm-mmm, and
there's always been laughing, crying, birth, dying, boys and girls, with hearts to take, and give and break, and heal and
grow and re-create, and raise and nurture but then her in times and times like these, and times like those, what will be will
be, so it goes. And there will always be stop and go fast and slow, and actions, reactions, and sticks, and stones and broken
bones, and those for peace, and those for war, and godbless those ones not those ones, but these ones made times like these,
and times like those, what will be will be, and so it goes, and it always goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on
and on and on and on it goes. mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm-mmmmm, mmm-mmm-mmm, Somehow I know, it won't be the same, And somehow I
know it won't be the same."
*"In Times Like These" by Jack Johnson.
February 19, 2004
I have two midterms starting in 7 hours. I'll give anyone who does them for me $5 and a shoe. You know you
want to! If you want the other shoe, you have to do my accounting midterm on Tuesday. So that's the deal. Take it or leave
it. Actually, no. Don't leave it. Take it. There's tons in it for you! TONS!
To Ulla, Nellie, Ally, and Cynthia: Have a good trip to Calgary you bums. Stay safe. And if any of you drive home
drunk from the "show" on Friday night, I'll kick all of your asses. All of them. If you can afford to go to Calgary, you can
afford to split the cost for a taxi.
My computer is up and running. It goes speedy quick again. I almost forgot how fast this thing was capable of doing
things. It's kind of nice, actually! Kevin came in here, did a few things so I could use my Excel and VOILA! It's a magical
device again! Gooood times.
Anyway, I'm going to make myself do a whole crap load of homework this weekend. Thanks to Daphne, I partially understand
what needs to be done tomorrow and I've vowed to focus on school for the rest of the year. I only have 2 months left and I
want my certificate so bad I can taste it. So here I go into the world of education. For the first time in my life, I actually
think I might care about accomplishing something. I realized things don't fall into your lap in life. You have to work for
it. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do and if that means working places you don't want to work, being someone
you don't want to be, you have to bite the grit and do it. I guess I didn't learn that after the summer of Hell. It just got
worse and worse working with Marie but I figured it would all be over soon. I didn't think it would carry on into the "real"
world. Meh. Oh well.
Anyway, it's time for me to go focus on some Records Management and Excel for awhile. Have a beautiful day.
Tee hee hee, Kelso has a cruuuuush.......
February 20, 2004
0/18 on my accounting test. Fucking 0.. out of 18... And my midterm's on Tuesday. I'm screwed. I REALLY hope Daphne'll
help me out tomorrow... *Crosses her fingers*
I'm going to bed. I'm going to curl my toes in the covers and prepare for a full fun day of studying tomorrow. Goooood
times. Take 'er easy.
FeBrUaRy 24, 2004
After tomorrow I'm going to attempt the webjournal page so if you're looking for more
daily rants, you know where to go.
I have my unhappy accounting midterm in a mere few hours. I'm just going to stop worrying about
it. If I don't pass, I don't pass. Like my mom says, if I don't pass, at least I know math isn't where I should be.
Today I was paroozing through the net and I'm pretty sure I scored a riteous course which completely
suits my personality. Tomorrow I'm gonna go down to registration and try to sign up for it. If they don't accept my money,
bad things are gonna go down. BAD ONES!
Anyway, gonna go catch some z's. Hope all is happy.
February 24, 2004
I was talking to John yesterday (yes, I realize this should go in my blog but I'm way too lazy
for any of this switching around on the webpages crap tonight) and apparently he has 60 stitches in his arm. 60. Think about
that. He couldn't talk about it because he was in too much pain at the time but 60 stitches.... SERIOUSLY! That's sick. SICK
I TELL YOU!
*Cough*
I was sitting here last night thinking about the good ol' days and I came to the conclusion
that it's gonna suck seeing everyone from back home once a year. I haven't exactly told any of my friends about my plans
of staying here for at least another 3 years but I have this feeling they're not going to be so impressed. Sweetz, if you're
reading this... Sorry, pal.
Apparently Sean's coming over to the Island to visit one of these days. I'm pretty
stoked. Sean's a good cat. Mike's supposed to be coming over too... Eh, Nellie? Ohh God. It's been awhils since Nellie and
I related to one another but this is just one of those things.
Today I'm pretty sure I basically bombed my midterm. At first I was all, "awww... This
sucks" about it but then I got a little spark within me that said, "WOOHOO! PHOTOJOURNALISM!" and the sucks went away. YAY
TEAM! I like it when the sucks go away. I found out that I got 87% on my foipop test in Records Management, though, so I'm
thinking that if I work my arse off to ace the Access portion of my Excel/Access course, I just might do okay. It might mean
that if I ever want to go back and finish off my business, I'll only have to take accounting. YAY! I don't have a hope for
accounting this seemster, I don't think. Meh. PHOTOJOURNALISM! WOOHOO!
Well, my bladder sure knows what time it is! Have a wonderbar night.
February 27th, 2004
I swear... People just don't understand the concept of "Less is More". I came on here a couple of minutes ago, half expecting
to just click on "Enter a new blog" see some flashing lights, have an empty page flash before my eyes and then start typing.
OH! NICE!
"Software Notification: The software you downloaded is ready to use. Precision time automatically synchs your computer
clock to the U.S. Atomic clock.
Dashbar makes finding information on the Web faster and easer. Search whenever you want - regardless of the web
pages you are viwing.
This software ad is supported by the GAIN Network. GAIN Network helps keep many popular software programs and services
free in exchange for delivering advertising based, in part, on the Web sites you view."
Okay. So this CRAP just popped up on my computer and there's no way in hell I'm touching it. If it so happens I just
received a virus, I wouldn't mind knowing. If anyone has any idea as to what the crap GAIN is, it'd be pretty cool of you
if you could e-mail me at
kelsoland@hotmail.com before my computer explodes... Or implodes... or does whatever it is that they do.
OKAY! Back to my rant. Awww, cracker.. now the window's gone. Whatever that was, I'm not liking it. Not one little
bit. RANT ALREADY!
This site is more complicted than the other one. All I was looking for was a place to enter my rants and bullshit
about random things that make no sense and don't have anything to do with, well, pretty much everything. *Sigh.*
My rant was actually going to be thoughtful, creative and full of spunk. I was stoked about writing it because
it's the first one on this "web blog" thing but since the ranodom window of death (I'm assuming) popped up, I've been kind
of nervous and now can't seem to stop thinking about it. *Takes some deep breaths.*
*Looks around.* My place is dirty. People might be over. Must clean. Talk soon. Send my regards to Helina.
February 28th, 2004
Tonight Diana and I went to the casino with Mike and E-Brake. I had never been there so I was pretty stoked on the idea.
I forgot my ID at home, though, so we got tossed. BUT THEN! Mike saved the day (Mike's a superhero, by the way) and took
me home to grab my ID. So that was cool. Then we went to the Pub. Some random creepy bartender guy hit on me (it wasn't cool)
and gave me this "vodka martini"... which turned out being straight martini in a glass. Not a fun time. Then we went back
to the casino. Mike gave me his free beads (TOTALLY smashin' baby. Definitely JulyFest material) and then we went on the excursion.
It was this bigtime place with random slot machines everywhere and a car in the middle. All of these people gambling their
life savings away at slot machines... sad. But the happiness comes! E-Brake wanted to play a slot machine (YAY!) so we walked
around for awhile. He chose Monopoly (DOUBLE YAY!) and the good times began. Obviously Monopoly is good luck because, well,
it's Monopoly. Anyway, he won some random amount on his machine and then gave me some quarters to throw into the one I was
sitting at. $24 baby! Ohhhh yeah. It was pretty exciting. E-Brake celebrated by buying us random food at the drive-thru. I
ordered the chicken combo beacuse I thought I was gonna be paying for it... But then he did... so now I guess I owe him a
burger.
We came back, played cherades (which I'm fucking HORRIBLE at apparently) and lounged around. Mmmm... lounging.
Mmmmm. Chicken...
So that's about all I've got. I've had a couple of drinks and I'm going to head to bed. It's been nice
talkin' to ya. No really. No, I insist! Time to prepare for the encore tomorrow night. Take it easy.
OH! And I've given up on the web blog... journal... thing. It's a waste of my time. This is a lot simpler for my feeble
mind.
February ... No... March 3, 2004
§tealthy KeL§0* says:
Sometimes I think it would be fun if it was Halloween because I like Halloween but this year I had a boring Halloween but
Halloweens aren't supposed to be boring because they're supposed to be fun which is why they called it Halloween and not,
"I ate your baby day".
March 4th, 2004
Cody just sent me the link to this site. It's QUITE a treat. I also messed everything up by copying
and pasting the text from yesterday. It seems that, uh, when you copy and paste things, the font gets defaulted into whatever
color you copied and pasted it from. So I changed the black to neon. And now all of my defaults are f'ed up the goat's
ass. So it's intensely bright blue from now on. Not that anyone reads these anymore anyway.. *Chokes back a tear* WHY DON'T
YOU LIKE ME?!?!?!?!?!
Oh, and while I'm here... I read today about a Yahk festival that's just like JulyFest but it includes
whitewater rafting and canoeing.. Okay. Let's think about this.. A festival.. in Yahk. Apparently it's been going on for 40
years but no one I've talked to thus far has ever heard of it. I guess it's just one of those "special secrets" like most
things in Yahk... Whatever! I always know where I am when we're driving back from the States and I see the massive picture
of Sasquatch. I'm just like, "THIS IS YAHK COUNTRY!" every single time. My parents used to dull roar at it and now it's come
to a brief chuckle. Kind of sad. Kind of sad indeed. *Sigh.* (Takes a minute)
Well there you have it. I'm now officially insane. And my defaults are forcing me to now make spaces
in between paragraphs. Sh*t.
It appears I also forgot to include the link to that site I was telling you about. I got you all hot
and bothered and then forgot to give you the sugar coated ice cream topped peach halves. Sorry about that. Here you go. That's
a friendly monkey! http://lostcow16.tripod.com/
April Second, Two Thousand Four
Everything I am, everything I've accomplished, everything I do...
It's all been for someone else u puntil this part in my life. I'm sick of being a person everyone around me wants me to be.
I am the inner rebel. It's like... I've worked, I've moved to Victoria, I've gone to school... and for what? I mean,
really. What the hell am I doing here? Sitting on my ass, pretending I'm fucking blussful about becoming just another person
on the street when really I'm thinking, "What the fuck am I doing here?! I should be accomplishing something.. ANYTHING..."
and it feels like the people I need the most support from right now just aren't giving a crap. I
mean, not to be rude or anything.. I don't mean to hurt my family's feelings... I love my family VERY much! They are
my soul. But I wouldn't mind having SOMEONE explain to me why it's so FUCKING important I go home right now. I mean,
no wonder why my brother went home so many times when the message I've been receiving from them for the past 6
months has been, "We're coming to get you after you graduate." ... Well excuse me, but FOR WHAT?! Up until
now, I haven't received an answer for this question but I would REALLY appreciate one sometime because, low and behold,
I am CERTAINLY not gonna live in my parents fucking basement in a town that's dying for the rest of my life. Sorry, that's
NOT happening.
I'm not trying to hurt feelings here, I'm not trying to be a bad
guy. I'm just standing up for myself and saying that at the end of the summer, I'm finally gonna do something for me. No more
of this, "What can I do for you?" shit. I'm through with that. My dad's being a bitch because I can't figure out what I want
to do with my life... Well SORRY but when you've been living through other people your entire life and then suddenly you're
left in the cold, what the fuck else do you think I'm gonna do?! I told them I wasn't ready for school... I told them I wasn't
prepared... And then I got the, "If you don't go now, you'll never go back" pressure. Of COURSE I went back! Since you've
been telling me what to do up until now, why wouldn't I go back?! It would only make sense that I listen to you one more time,
wouldn't it?!
I was just reviewing my personality. I don't have a particular social group, I don't wear a particular style of clothes...
and now that I've moved out of my house, I'm learning how to speak my mind and say no to people. It's funny how it's taken
me this long to say no to people. I used to think there was a problem with me... There was a mental block... But it's because
that's what I did at home. "Yes, mom." "Yes, dad." Yada, yada, yada. That mentality kind of carried over into my whole lifestyle.
With everyone, I became the pushover. I got walked all over all the fricking time. Well that's not gonna happen anymore. I
refuse to be the doormat for society. As of August, I'm doing things my way... And during the months that I live at home,
I demand to be respected for my right to say no and my right to stand up for my thoughts, beliefs and opinions.
April 3, 2004
I've met trouble.
April 7, 2004
I had one of those moments last night.... I was lying in bed with my eyes closed, thinking about the
way the world, well not "the" world specifically but rather "my" world, and I came to the conclusion that in some ways I'm
very happy with the way things are right now and in other ways, not so much. I mean, here I am doing basically nothing with
my time, basically wasting it until something happens... the house catches fire, someone breaks into my house, I'm taken back
home... something... and then last night the simple thought occurs to me that it's only April 6th. I mean, I really thought
about the concept of time last night. I was pondering that if it was only April 6th and my parents were to be arriving around
the 27th, 28th to whisk me away back into "no mans land", I have 21 days to fill... Which ends up being 3 weeks. That's a
lot of weeks (especially in dog years). So I'm sitting here thinking to myself, "You know, maybe you should actually try to
find something to do with your time... Anything." Right about then is when I fell back to sleep with the concept in my head
of, "Eh, I'll deal with it tomorrow."
This morning I woke up at 5:30am. Rise and shine! (I'm trying to get into some kind of a sleeping pattern
for working when I go back home so yes, there is a logical explanation to my madness or utter stupidity, rather.) I got up
and immediately fell back down. I was feeling weak and disoriented. I forgot where I was for a few moments and kind of stumbled
around. My room's hard enough to maneuver around when you know what's happening, it's worse when you can't feel your feet
or what they're about to stumble over. That's when I decided it was the right time for me to go see a doctor. That's when
Captain Dee came over to save the day. She took me to the mad doctor and then we went to McDonalds. When I got back here,
I was feeling really weak and disoriented again. I'm not really sure what's entirely wrong with me yet but I'm really hoping
this all goes away before I go home. I know if I'm living with my parents and end up feeling like crap, they're going to raz
on me... I'll refrain from telling them anything's wrong until I absolutely have to.
Anyway, so that's my health update. On further news, I think I might have bothered trouble and horrible
things may have happened. I'm hoping I didn't ruin the fun, chaotic bond of wit but I have mixed feelings. I am, afterall,
a cashew so it's only natural that I'm mixed up with nutty people. He's way up there on the scale. Which is why I'm quite
fond of him. But.. *Sigh.* Just... Bad things. Bad, bad things. And trouble, if you're reading this: I've been fretting about
whether or not I've caused a disruption all day. Even if you hate my guts now, would you mind e-mailing me and telling me
you hate my guts? Cause even that would be better than the nagging thougts of wondering.... Bah.
Fare day.
April 7th, 2004
same day, different rant. I have a bit of a bone to pick with society, I suppose. I was just refferred
to as the "young one".What is age, really?
I dated a guy for awhile, quite a bit older than me... But found that his maturity level was quite
a bit lower than mine. How is he labeled the older one and me the "young one"? When you meet someone pub, bar or
otherwise, one of the first questions you'll get asked is, "So how old are you?" I'm gonna stop answering this question. I'm
going to plot a witty answer and start throwing it back into their faces because, really, how old do you think I am? Let's
go have a conversation, a coffee, take a trip around the Province... If you're still interested in how old I am, i'll be more
than happy to tell you. Unless of course the people I meet are about 45 and trying to make sure that it's legal if they try
to date rape me, in which case they shouldn't even bother to ask how old I am, I really don't see the point...
So for the record: I'm a 38 year old soul trapped in a 19 year old's body. Take the answer or leave
it. It makes no difference to me.
April 13, 2004
Mmmm.. Sleeping right now would be soooo nice.
Well, it would seem that in a mere couple of weeks I'll be packing up my things and heading home as
though nothing ever happened. Kind of an awkward feeling but almost relieving at the same time. It'll be nice to be back in
homeland for awhile.
I feel sorry for all of the people who are taking their final exams this week. They probably feel pretty
relieved about it but at the same time, the high stress must be kicking them in the face. On the other hand, my lack
of ambition and my not wanting to accomplish much of anything... ever... is kind of having the opposite effect on me.
I have quite the craving for being cuddled right now so off I go in search for my Pooh bear. Have a
happy day.
September 8, 2004
Hey there! I have a new site at https://kelsoland.tripod.com/kelsolandpart2
